Healthy Giving

What is healthy giving? What is healthy giving in relationships with others? We need to have healthy giving when it comes to giving.

There is another side to healthy giving. There is un-healthy giving. This is something to consider before you give. There are people who are takers and don’t give much in return. The takers seem to have the mindset of entitlement and the world owes them. There is another part to this too.

There are times when we have to check ourselves to see if what we are doing for them is healthy or not. When giving to others that are needy we have to allow them opportunity to do for themselves. It can certainly be a dis-service to them not to experience a little hardship and temperance.It is good character building when we let them work through life issues so they can gain experience and have the strength to be challenged.

We can give and sometimes it is not necessarily a good thing. It can be part of our own dysfunction. We can get caught up in giving and wonder why people don’t give much back. I believe it is because we are busy making it about us and what makes us feel good while we do not consider the affect to the other person’s growth.

Little boys grow up to be big boys and they want to be the “fix it boys”. We as men have to be mindful of this because we want to fix everything and everybody. We want to go into the world and take on the injustices of the world by wanting to fix things.

We need to experience life and make mistakes and endure hardships in order to grow and to satisfy the evolution of growth as humans. To this I will quote what a pastor once said, ” Living things grow, growing things change, and people struggle with change”.

Why would we want to hinder someone’s growth by doing too much for them? They could be resisting the change necessary for life’s evolution and maturity? Oprah says it well too, ” when we know better we do better”. This can only be manifested through growth and the strength to live life with courage and tenacity.

A couple of good questions to ask one’s self is, are we helping or hindering a person’s ability to grow when we help them too much? Do they see us as a helping hand up or a handout for them?

Article written by Terrance W. Norton

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2 Comments

  • lovmor says:

    This is a well written piece. I have children and if only I had used these principles when they were young things could be much different. I have been made aware of healthy giving too because unfortunately I have been an enabler. I have to constantly monitor my actions until I am able to have it come second nature.

    Thank you for the wonderful message!

    • admin says:

      Thank you for your comment LovMor. Yes, if only we had the wisdom we have now and to apply it at the right given time. I too have had the problem of enabling at one time and so I too am aware of how I give to people.
      I use this as an example: It is the 3 Circles concept. The outer circle is for people you know but don’t have a relationship with them. The inner circle is for those that you have some kind of relationship with them that is based on exercised trust and actions. The most inner circle is your “Intimate You” and few people are in there because others have not proved trust worthy.
      The problem with enabling is that we want to have people love and like us and through our insecurities or love addictions, we shoot those people right for the intimate circle without any regard. It bi-passes your true friends and could cause contention amongst your friends. They are only trying to protect you providing that they are honorable ” Intimate Circle Friends”.
      Thank you for your comment. It should get us to think about things doesn’t it?

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